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by carzla



Series: Between Worlds [3]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Heart-to-Heart, Introspection, M/M, Romance, sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-10
Updated: 2012-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-29 08:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/317628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carzla/pseuds/carzla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Post AC] It’s really rare to see Reno quiet. Even more rare to see him seriously contemplating about things. Finding the redhead in such a strange state of mind one night, Rufus resolves to find out just what’s bothering his lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007.

The detection of the lost of a familiar warmth that was, by all rights, supposed to be next to him for the remainder of the night finally roused him from a contented slumber. Blinking to get his sleep-clouded vision to focus, Rufus cast a glance at the spot to his right, confirming that his lover was indeed not there. He smoothed a hand over the rumpled silk bed sheets and detected a lingering warmth.

That meant that Reno hadn’t been out of bed for very long.

Getting out of his bed, Rufus grabbed his boxers and his shirt off the floor, putting both on – though not bothering to button up his shirt – before setting off to find Reno. All the while, he wondered just what had possessed Reno to actually leave the comfort of the bed. He had heard from the redhead all too often about 'how damn comfortable' his bed was compared to others. It had taken a while before Rufus had gotten used to the fact that Reno once, in the distant past, did not belong to him, and therefore he could not control his previous behavior.

Of course, “others” probably included Reno’s own bed, although frankly speaking, the redhead hadn’t really used it much nowadays other than the times he had become so horribly drunk that Rude had decided that Reno should crash at their shared apartment instead of bothering Rufus to take care of the redhead.

After sometime, he had grown used to the occasional night without Reno around in his penthouse. That was mostly what Rufus tried to think about whenever Reno mentioned that particular phrase in all the varieties of words it could come packaged it while still meaning the same thing. He hated being reminded of the fact that Reno was once out of his control and slept with whoever he pleased even though that was a very long time ago now.

A quick search around his penthouse led him to spot the redhead standing out at the balcony, sipping red wine. Reno’s bare back was turned to him, as he appeared to be looking outside at the night scene. Rufus appreciated the view for a moment before moving quietly to the distance between them, wondering how far he could go this time before Reno managed to sense his presence.

He was about three steps away from Reno before the redhead seemed to acknowledge his presence with a slight turn of his head and a flick of his eyes towards Rufus. This was the closest he had managed to ‘creep up’ on Reno before he was noticed. Once he was ‘caught’, Reno would usually start teasing him about his “non-existent stealth skills” (although if Rufus had anything to say about it, they were definitely existent and improving exponentially by the day). If being able to catch Reno unaware for much longer than usual didn’t make Rufus think that something was wrong, the fact that Reno did not tease him or so much as comment about it, sealed it for Rufus.

Closing the remaining distance between them, Rufus wrapped his left arm around Reno’s waist, his right hand plucking the wine glass from Reno’s hand. He drank from it, savoring the taste before balancing the glass delicately on the balcony ledge.

“You better not have cleaned out my entire wine collection,” he murmured beside Reno’s ear.

“Mmm? If I wanted ta do that, you’d see more bottles lyin’ round the place by now.”

“Oh really? So you’re still sober.”

“Have I done anything to make you think I’m not?”

“Your reaction time was lagging a lot more than usual today.” _Not to mention your lack of smart comments when you finally **did** notice me_ , Rufus added silently as his right hand drifted upwards to gently play with unbound, fiery red hair.

“Oh. Maybe you improved?”

At that instance, Rufus resisted the overwhelming urge to turn Reno around and demand to know if this person before him was really his lover. That _wasn’t_ something Reno would say. Not _at all_. Instead, he merely forced the impulse away and asked, albeit with some form of disbelief in his tone, “Are you _sure_ you're not just even a little tipsy?”

Even to his own ears, the question sounded far too ridiculous. As far as he could tell, Reno hadn't been drinking more than one bottle. He didn’t even seem to have gone through half of that bottle yet. _Everyone_ knew that Reno could hold his drink very well. It took a lot more than just a bit of red wine – and from the looks of it, it didn’t seem to be one of those with higher alcoholic content – to get him intoxicated.

But with the way Reno was currently acting so out of sorts, Rufus didn’t know what other thing could’ve caused it. There was the idea that Reno was thinking about something serious, but such things occurred so rarely that he was very inclined to brush it off without even considering it.

“Nah. I’m perfectly sober… Just thinking…”

“About…?”

“Stuff…”

It didn’t really surprise him that Reno was being vague. But he was doing it in an “I-have-something-important-on-my-mind” way and not his usual “I-am-doing-this-on-purpose-to-spite-you-so-there” way. That was really rare… Rufus would have to revise his earlier assumption, although it was quite legitimate for him to think that way.

It wasn’t often at all that Reno would become like this. He generally took what life threw at him in stride, doing his best to defy all odds sent his way and if he eventually had to go down despite all his fighting, he’d just bitch about it. A lot. Very rarely would he be affected by it so much that he’d _dwell_ on it. Especially straight after sex.

“I’ll presume that you won’t be telling me what exactly ‘stuff’ means any time soon.”

To that, Reno leaned back against him, letting his head rest against Rufus’ right shoulder. He then tilted his head to properly look at Rufus for the first time since Rufus had walked onto the balcony. Rufus noted that there was an unusual searching gleam in Reno’s blue-green eyes. Although feeling slightly surprised at the probing gaze, he continued to hold it steadily. He supposed that it did help that he found it quite fascinating to study Reno’s eyes.

“I met Cloud at a pub the other day,” Reno finally said after what felt like a minute, his eyes flitting away from his to gaze outwards. “The day you asked him to go deliver some stuff,” Reno elaborated after a pause.

“Hmm…”

“We talked over a couple o’ drinks.”

“A couple?” Rufus questioned, disbelief clearing tinting his voice.

If he was not mistaken, that was also the very same night he received a late message from Rude that Reno was dead drunk and for his convenience, Reno would be sleeping back at their shared apartment for the night instead. It _did not_ take just a _couple of drinks_ to cause Reno to become ‘dead drunk’. ‘Dead drunk’ was the exact wording Rude had used, he was a hundred percent sure of that.

Reno looked a little sheepish at his question, but still had a note of nonchalance in his voice as he replied, “Okay, it was a lot more. But that was just a figure of speech ya know. Didn’t have ta take it literally.”

“ _Right._ Knowing you, though, you probably _meant_ it literally. But back to the point: what were you and Cloud talking about?” he asked, before adding semi-teasingly, “I’d say you were the one who pestered him first.”

“I did not!” was Reno's vehement protest and he looked like he was finally back to his own self. Anger lit up his eyes and he turned a little to aim a fiery glare at Rufus, to which Rufus merely gazed back, calmness residing in his cerulean eyes.

The moment was short-lived, however, as a few seconds later; Reno slumped back against Rufus, the anger dimmed by an unknown source. “It’s rare ta see Cloud in a pub other than the Seventh Heaven, y’know… So I thought I’d say hello or somethin’. We somehow ended up talking – and ya know how Cloud can be if he doesn’t really wanna talk or hear someone yappin’ away. He was surprisingly more talkative than usual… Guess the tequila loosened his tongue.”

Okay, so he had to concede that Cloud Strife being inside a pub was surprising because as far as Rufus knew, the blond wasn’t that into drinking unlike a certain _someone_ he knew who could and normally would clean out entire cellars worth of wine if left unchecked. But how _that_ connected with Reno’s current mood was still one big mystery to him.

“So, the both of you talked. About…?”

Reno shifted again, this time giving Rufus the feeling that he was uncomfortable with broaching the topic. “Eh… Asked him about how life was after those silver-haired brothers nearly turned the world upside down again. Things like that…”

Reno was a practiced liar, and even after being his lover for close to four years, it was sometimes hard for him to tell if Reno was lying. But today, it was blatantly obvious that he was. Rufus didn’t like being lied to, but what made it even more appalling was that he could so clearly spot that Reno was being untruthful and from the looks of it, Reno knew he was going to be found out anyhow. It was almost as if Reno was just trying to buy time with lies – that weren’t going to work – to perhaps think of a way to answer his question effectively, but nonetheless evasively.

“You’re not being the least bit convincing, Reno.” In other words, even a child could tell that the redhead was lying.

For the umpteenth time since he had joined his lover on the balcony, Reno fidgeted again. This time, Rufus thought he heard a barely contained sigh accompanying that action too. He was almost certain Reno was going to try to evade answering again, before he spoke, “Can we sit? It’s gonna be quite long.”

“Of course.” Then Rufus unwrapped his arm from Reno’s waist and moved towards the recliners situated at a corner of the balcony, while still feeling a little surprised that Reno would talk about it.

He watched as Reno waited a few heartbeats more before moving too, a hand reaching out absently to take the abandoned wine glass along with him. Then he surprised Rufus by walking over to the reclining chair that he was sitting on and half snuggled in next to him although there was another recliner on the balcony.

“Promise me that you’ll never bring this up before anyone else. Cloud included,” Reno said, his voice uncharacteristically serious and soft. Then again, Reno had been acting unlike himself for most of the night now.

“…I promise.”

Reno gave him another measured look before beginning, “Well, I wasn’t totally lying when I said that I asked him about life after Kadaj and gang… just that it led onto a lot of other stuff… I’d noticed that Cloud seemed to be a lil’ outta sorts, so I started askin’ him 'bout it. Thought that maybe he had a spat with Tifa or something. He told me that it didn’t really have anything ta do with her directly. So I guessed that it’d have ta do with her if she got wind that somethin’ was up with Cloud. Gotta say that the girl can be pretty scary…”

Rufus raised an eyebrow at Reno’s last comment. “And how would you, of all people, know that?”

Reno winced a little at the question, seeming to be reliving a rather nasty memory. “Eh… she came lookin’ for me… Guess it was ‘cause Cloud wouldn’ tell her anything after he returned back ta Edge only a day after finishing the delivery.”

“And you didn’t tell her anything when she first asked.”

“I couldn’t tell her we’d met. Cause then she’d definitely ask about the meeting. I swore I wouldn’t say anythin’…most of all ta her…”

Now that was interesting. While Reno could be trusted to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to outside of work, therein lay the keywords: _wanted to._ At present, Rufus didn’t see what secret of Cloud’s Reno had gotten his hands on that would make the redhead keep it what it was – a secret.

In fact, it surprised Rufus that Cloud would even let his secret – whatever it was – be known to Reno of all people. If the blond didn’t even want to let his _girlfriend_ know about it, why would he tell Reno? There could’ve also been other choices of people that Cloud could’ve chosen amongst his group of friends… such as Vincent Valentine. The ex-Turk was at least a surer guarantee that the secret didn’t run the risk of being leaked.

“You had Cloud tell you a secret. One that you’re actually going to keep,” he repeated as a way of confirmation that he hadn’t heard his lover wrongly.

“I did say that he was more talkative than usual. And what’s so strange about me wanting ta keep a secret? Doesn’t happen outside of official work much, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it!” Reno's tone was indignant as he defended his ability to keep secrets.

 _But that still doesn’t mean you’re one hundred percent reliable on this matter_ , Rufus thought to himself privately. But instead, he said, “Okay, so I’ll admit that to be true at times. So Lockhart came to find you but you refused to speak at first… Did she actually beat you or something?”

“Or something," Reno agreed rather mirthlessly. “Threatened physical harm blah blah blah but never got down ta doin’ it. Man… I’d _hate_ ta be on her black list. She’s got helluva temper despite her appearance… But that part was still okay. Mutilation threats and violence were always part of a Turk’s job anyway.”

“So… what made you finally tell her something?”

If anything, Reno looked much more uncomfortable than when admitting that Tifa had come looking for him. Still, his lover answered him, albeit very hesitantly. “Uh… well… t’was Rude actually…”

Rufus blinked. Now, that was quite surprising. He hadn’t expected that it would be Reno’s own partner who made him open up his mouth to speak. “I don’t see how Rude could’ve forced you to do something you don’t want to. Especially since you’re unlikely to be incapacitated and unable to defend yourself at that point in time.”

“Well, ya just try acting all cool and calm when Rude’s glaring holes the size o’ saucers in the back of your head for making the gal he likes cry,” Reno half-grumbled and half-mumbled in reply.

It took several moments before what Reno said really sank into Rufus’ mind. So not only did Tifa find Reno, but somehow or another actually _broke down_ into tears before the redhead in what was likely to be an attempt to make Reno give in and tell her about Cloud’s delivery and what happened afterwards? Which then caused Rude to be pissed off at his partner because… Okay, fine. It wasn’t everyday that Rufus learnt something new about his Turks.

“And so you told her,” he said instead.

“Uh… well… not all of it… but enough to let her know where Cloud had been that night, which was, according to Rude, crashed dead asleep on the couch back in the apartment. He’d kinda left by the time I was up.”

It suddenly struck Rufus that Reno could be surprisingly loyal to whomever he considered a friend. He had to admit that it wasn’t some realization that had happened overnight, and that he probably noticed it long before today. But the situation now somehow just highlighted that fact to him a lot more, so it seemed as if he was just realizing it. Despite being somewhat forced to tell Tifa about Cloud, Reno had still refused to let slip probably what was the most important part of everything that had transpired between them. Whatever that really was, he still didn’t know, and he had the feeling that even Rude had no clue to that. Or if Rude did know what it was about, then it meant that even he agreed that it was something the brunette need not know. Hmm…

“Let me guess, whatever you and Cloud talked about was not revealed to Lockhart… and it’s also the cause of your strange mood right now.”

“Yeah… it kinda… got me thinking about… us…”

“Us?” Rufus repeated, wondering if he had heard his lover wrongly this time.

He couldn’t see how a talk with Cloud could end up with Reno being pensive and reflecting over their relationship, granted that nobody really thought they'd end up together for such a long time with no sign of splitting permanently. He still remembered quite clearly Tseng’s shock at finding out that their relationship had passed the point of casualness. That was saying something, since Tseng _always_ had that uncanny ability to foresee things that could happen.

“I guess you’re quite surprised… I didn’t really think that much about our conversation that night itself, since as you already know, we both got really drunk in the process… So much that Rude actually complained ta me that he had ta drag the both of us outta the bar and demanded I pick up the bar tab for the next few weeks…” Reno explained slowly, as if trying to decide how to explain it without getting any misunderstandings in the way. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed together, while his eyes seemed to be partially glazed over. “But tonight… as I was watching you sleep, the things we talked about just kinda crept up on me…”

For what had to be the umpteenth time, Rufus found himself wondering just what sort of talk did Cloud and Reno have that would actually involve him. This time however, he decided to directly ask Reno. He didn’t really need to be sorting this out himself.

“Just what _did_ the two of you talk about, Reno? Because I do not see how _anything_ that Cloud could’ve brought up would lead to me.”

“He… That conversation we had… made me realize how _lucky_ I am to be able to be with you, Rufus… I realized that we both had been in scarily _similar_ positions… meaning… meaning that it was _entirely possible_ that I… I could’ve ended up like Cloud…” Reno was speaking in an extremely soft and vulnerable voice and somehow he looked a lot younger and less hardened than he was. “And I’m… I’m not sure if… if I could’ve… survived… if that was the case…”

While Rufus still _could not_ fathom Reno’s conversation with Cloud, he had the feeling he knew what Reno was talking about. He could remember a conversation – if it could even be called a conversation – he had with Reno when they were about a year and a half into their previously sex-only relationship.

Reno had been quite drunk that night and in the midst of their talk and concurrent physical activities, had let slip about the depth of his feelings for Rufus as well as how long it had been that way already. He had been very shocked by Reno's words and by a strange emotion that had ignited within him upon hearing them.

He had clearly understood the implications because it was awfully unwise for him and Reno to be involved in a serious, committed relationship at that point in time. AVALANCHE and Sephiroth were both causing problems for ShinRa then. Even if it hadn’t occurred in such a trying time for the company, there was still the social class difference. Not that Rufus had really cared about that kind of thing when it came to Reno. But he had learnt that night that the redhead, while never giving a damn about the social status of the people whom he slept with as long as they gave him a great time, was acutely aware that a serious, lasting relationship between people of two contrasting, polar-opposite backgrounds was virtually impossible.

After Meteor, where he had narrowly escaped death, he had finally admitted that his feelings towards Reno had grown more than he had expected it ever would; they had morphed into love. Eventually, he had come round to telling Reno and Reno had been stunned, unsure if he had been speaking the truth. Rufus had had to find ways to prove to Reno that he was not joking and was completely serious.

In the course of that, he had come to know that Reno had never thought it possible for Rufus to really notice him past his competence as a Turk and his talents in the bedroom. In light of this, he realized that perhaps even until now, Reno sometimes still felt that it was quite surreal that everything had become like this. Such as instances like tonight.

Rufus slid both arms around his lover and pulled him protectively towards his chest. “While I still don’t know what you and Cloud really talked about… I won’t leave you. I won’t let you go. _Ever._ ” He hoped that his words would allay whatever uncertainties present in Reno.

Reno chuckled softly, although there wasn’t much amusement in it. “I know that… I know… _Really_ , I do… But the thing is, I’ve come _so close_ to losing you before Rufus… Meteor… its aftermath… the Geostigma… and your utterly _crazy_ move to jump off the building after you threw down those stupid cells to taunt Kadaj barely two weeks ago… It just makes me think how close it had been or I could've ended up without you… ended up like Cloud…”

“What happened? I've been asking you that since the start of this… and I still haven’t come very much closer to knowing that Reno.”

“Y’know… if Cloud ever found out that I told you this… I’m gonna be a dead man. That is, if I’m not already goin’ ta die once he knows his girlfriend came lookin’ for me…”

“If he does indeed try to kill you, _his_ life is going to be utterly miserable afterwards,” Rufus assured, a hint of steel entering his voice as sadistic thoughts of what he’d inflict on the other came into his mind momentarily. Then softening his tone, he asked, “Now, are you ready to finally get to the point of this conversation?”

“Still as bossy as ever,” Reno noted in what Rufus supposed was an attempt to actually relax himself and hence did not take offence. “Don’t get too shocked when you hear what I have to say. I know _I_ was when I found out.”

“I honestly _fail_ to see what more shocking things I can learn from you, after having been with you for almost four years, Reno. Especially if the thing doesn’t concern you directly.”

“Oh, _this’ll_ take the cake… I'll bet’cha,” was Reno’s comeback, sounding extremely sly. He had a strange, tiny smile on his face too. “Especially since it’s true… cause ya see, Rufus, Cloud told me that he was once, okay, make that he still is… in love with Sephiroth.”

Rufus’ first instinct was to actually laugh at the ludicrous idea of it all. However, Reno was watching him, and despite the relatively light-hearted way he had spoken, his eyes reflected his seriousness. Be it his gut instinct or not, Rufus had the dawning realization that Reno was indeed speaking the truth. Now that he thought about it, it would be absolutely unlike Cloud to joke about someone whom he should rightly hate for turning his life upside down…

“W… What…?” was the only coherent word he could actually get out of his mouth then.

Reno actually smirked a little at his reaction, probably feeling extremely pleased to have gotten one up on him. Then his expression returned to that pensiveness from before as he continued to speak.

“I’m not joking, y’know. Even I know that certain things aren’t to be taken lightly. I suppose you'll understand why it got me thinking about us… Cloud and I.… we’re both in the same boat; I just happened ta be lucky enough not to be stranded there anymore.”

Now that Rufus had more or less gotten past the shock of it all, he could clearly see where Reno was coming from. While he would not say that he was an expert on Cloud’s history, he knew that Cloud had never risen to SOLDIER status. As for Sephiroth, there wasn’t anyone of reasonable age presently who did not know that he was once ShinRa’s top General. In that respect, the two of them were on totally different ends of the social ranking spectrum.

Kind of like how he and Reno differed, except the difference for Cloud was probably a lot more pronounced. Reno, at the very least, was one of the Four Aces of the Turks when they first came to know each other. Rufus couldn’t say the same for Cloud and Sephiroth. Other than the stigma if such a relationship ever occurred, it was likely to be a hopeless case for Cloud to think that Sephiroth would actually _notice_ someone of such low ranking in SOLDIER.

As for other similarities… yes, they were there. While it was unlikely that Reno would ever have to face off against him with the survival of the world being at stake depending on the outcome of whoever lived or died, as his lover had mentioned before, there were instances where he had tangoed with Death and had only managed to escape at the very last moment. However, despite it all, there was one crucial difference. He was in love with Reno too; they were involved in a two-way relationship and not a one-sided one.

“I understand… there are indeed similarities… But there’s a one thing that makes you different from Cloud.” Rufus paused for a moment for a slight dramatic effect. “I love you Reno.”

At his words, Reno smiled up at him. Not his usual cheeky grin, not one of seduction, but a soft smile that was just as alluring in its gentleness. Rufus was sure that he was the only one to see such an expression from Reno.

“And I love you too,” was Reno’s reply, before he added, “But you know, Rufus… _He_ loved Cloud back too. We’re more similar than you think… That’s why it really got me thinking ‘bout us… He’d gotten away from those kinda insecurity and pain… only ta be put back there again cause circumstances were outta his control… It could happen to me too. I understand how Cloud feels… mostly… That's why I _couldn’_ afford to tell Tifa about it even with Rude glaring an abyss in ta my head. Imagine how she'd take it…”

“Not very well at all…” Rufus answered slowly, still feeling the astonishment about what Reno said about Sephiroth and Cloud’s relationship.

“I’d say _you_ aren’t taking it all too well either,” came Reno’s cheeky rejoinder. “Then again, it’s not too surprising. Who’d have thought of that ever happening? I was beginning to doubt Cloud’s sanity at that point, cause he was drinkin’ quite a bit, then he said somethin’ about Zack kinda playin’ matchmaker. If I know Zack, that’s definitely somethin’ he’d do.”

“Mmhm…”

Rufus didn’t really know what more to say after this, and Reno didn’t seem to want to add anything more. Silence enveloped them gently, and he felt content to just stay this way for the remainder of the night. He had learnt a little more about his lover through tonight and it made Rufus feel strangely protective of the redhead.

Subconsciously, one of his hands started stroking Reno’s hair tenderly, which caused Reno to actually nuzzle him as he made himself even more comfortable half lying on Rufus and half lying on what little space there was left on the single reclining chair.

…

It seemed that an eternity had passed when Rufus felt Reno nudging him lightly in the side. Reno was looking a little blearily up at him, and when Rufus tilted his head in question, he spoke with sleepiness tinting his voice, “D’ya think… we could move back to the bedroom? I'm getting a lil’ sleepy…”

“Of course.” Noting how much Reno resembled a cute little kitten at the moment with the way the redhead didn't seem like he wanted to stop cuddling him anytime soon, Rufus smiled and added teasingly, “Do you need to be carried back inside, hmm?”

“Mm… can I?”

Without replying except for widening his smile, Rufus adjusted his hold on Reno so he could easily pick the other up in his arms. Then he stood up, carrying Reno bridal-style and began the walk back inside the penthouse and into his bedroom. He was faintly amused at how sleepy Reno currently was and felt a surge of warmth at the way his lover had turned a little to continue snuggling into his chest. Reno was a Turk, a formidable force to be reckoned with, but at times like these he was undeniably endearing.

Reaching his bedroom, Rufus laid Reno gently down onto the bed. He had to actually use some force to loosen Reno’s arms around his neck so that he could cover him with the covers and get in beside Reno as well. Once they were both under the covers, it was barely a second later when Reno cuddled up to him automatically.

Rufus watched Reno sleeping next to him, as a tender smile curved his lips. Pressing a soft kiss to Reno’s lips and then to his forehead, he wondered how fortunate he was to actually be able to have Reno close beside him to spend the night. And…

He wanted this to be the way for the rest of their lives.


End file.
